Friday, June 15, 2012

My Cross Dressing (?) Daughter.

Spiderman Silver Silhouette Juvenile T-Shirt

Buddy got a bunch of hand-me-downs the other day and Miss M. was very excited to claim the Spiderman shirt.  She was exuberant in it.  But when I picked her up from preschool she was a little subdued.  

"Did everyone love your Spiderman shirt," I asked?  
"Everyone said I looked like a boy".  What? I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  She is in a class with three and four-year-olds.  How is this happening already?

"Well, that is the silliest thing I've ever heard.  You know that Spiderman is for everyone not just boys, right?"  

"Yeah, I do," she said and skipped off to the car.  Clearly, she was not as upset as I was.  But I couldn't just let it go.  

"Who said you look like a boy?" 
"Oh, A. and S. (two three-year-old girls).  The boys liked the shirt though".  
"well, I like the shirt too.  It is awesome!"

I let it go at this point.  At least I stopped talking to her about it.  But, it still makes me mad.  How can the-year-old girls already have such firm gender lines in their head?  It is so depressing.  And Miss M. hasn't worn the shirt to school since.  She does wear it around the house.  

I am curious if it was the cut of the shirt that made it a "boy shirt" or the superhero.  If I was richer I would buy her a shirt like this so we could do an experiment.  What do you think was it the boxy T-shirt that made Miss M. look like a boy or the spiderman?  

Spiderman Crawl Baby Tee


  1. That would be a great experiment! There are definitely shirts I don't like to wear because I feel like a boy in them--boxy shape, etc. I like feeling like a girl. I haven't run into that issue yet with Anya. She has all this self-confidence I never had. She likes what she likes and doesn't seem to give a hoot what anyone else thinks. I hope she holds fast to that.

  2. For some reason, if I had a daughter *or even I* wanted to wear a "male" shirt (style or picture) it wouldn't really bother me. But, if my son were to request a girl's "style" with embellishments and the like, I would firmly put my foot down. Although, I find men in pink very attractive.

    1. I get it. There is a double standard. I do let Buddy where what he wants to but I feel a little more defensive when he is wearing a pink leotard than when Miss M is wearing a spiderman shirt.

  3. Danny has had similar issues with his fashion choices, nail polish, activity choices. He came up with the best answer every. "Are you a boy or a girl?" Danny says "I'm just a kid, and I like it." Perfect.

  4. I definitely think it is the cut not the logo or the color. With kids clothes are a huge factor in being able to tell a kid's gender. Because long hair doesn't mean much, facial features are hard to distinguish, and body shape is the same. So in all fairness how else are those three-year-old girls supposed to know if she is a girl or boy? At that age it really is what makes someone look like a girl or a boy. I don't think it is a bad thing to distinguish gender. Gender is an important part of our eternal destiny.